- |坏蛋|
egg, be, hatch, mistake
two, round, ripe, mistake
egg, be, hatch, mistake
……
- |Watermelon|
- |Cathelia|
Cathelia is walking on the long road. All is the desert around, she is bared feet, naked neck, and wading across this land. Going ahead. Going back. Going to the Water of Life.
Cathelia, Catherlia, walking on the desert of land. She is having her period, blood dropped into the arid sand; all drunken. The toe cap worn, no longer incisive and bright, it loses the direction pointed her way of next.
Is it the Water of Life? I cried.
“It is the Water of Life!”, Cathelia cried.
- |By two laps|
Prom 
- |∞|
∞
Attention
Dryness
The Self-loop
qrf - |Walk a snow|
1
Moonlight
Meet her lover
Midnight
Snow white
2
Pierce
Without blood
Pure harmonious hilarity
3
“Cooled.”
” Have the tea, please.”
The day, I was going to Blank Space to see the exhibition A Higher Calling.
It was the first snow, those atoms of me in my body and air were calling for a walk in the snow, and so I walked, and missed the exhibition.
They said, “the Black Space is not open today”.
In the higher calling of a day-walk in the snow in a call.
- |In|
All feels like on the edge
All with an urge
In white, and her red.
Leave This Place! - |Perfect|
Kids’ Parking Plot
Hello self-critical essay
Learning from my previous experience, it was easy getting into the situation of losing your voice when you were writing. To keep the drive, I set my character down at the beginning; it was a half-man who had no place to go. This was a helpful strategy, I also felt freer to write when not regarding it as a story about me. In addition, just like what Neil Gaiman said, your characters are part of you and will gradually separate from you.
My character had gone through five stages. In the beginning, he was just so happy that he felt love and warmth suddenly and wanted to say that out. Gradually, he felt there was something not very fit. He began to think about why and felt disgusted, and he fell into sadness later. In the end, he calmed down and only wanted everybody could be fine in the coming Christmas. It seemed random, but what my character faced was just the gap between unideal reality and pure love and one’s native wishes.
After finishing the draft, I started to think about how to perform it to my audience- I decided to use the robot’s voice. It used s digital voice to say those strongly emotional sentences, and the contrast between the robot’s emotionless voice and my content is what I want my audience to feel. It showed the mixture of detachment and zeal and created the view of an outsider; like the set of the empty stage, the robot was watching everything in distance.
Moreover, I created many pauses between sentences or words when the robot spoke to provide space for the audience to feel emotions. One of them asked me how I made this, but the emotions were not from the robot’s tone but from the audience themselves. This is also why I love performance; it is the result between the performer and audience, and it must be real.
Overall, learning from this experience, I will also focus more on the organization of show and my computer skills next time. To become a better writer, I will keep practising my English, keep thinking and creating, and more importantly, keep living my life with a bare heart.
Dancing Memory
“Memories are sensual images captured by our body of any experience of living. They are inside us, deep and running in our inner energetic rivers. When memories get out from our body they do it in impulses of movement and sound. Emotions are a result; emotions are a movement—— a consequence of memories, impulses and movement.
Our dance is the external movement of our inner movement. Our ideal dance is that happening inside and outside the body, linking both.”
From Gustavo Thomas, my teacher
This is our December workshop. It contains four sections. We work in a small group online. I would like to express my sincere thanks to my beloved teacher, Gustavo, and everyone who participated.
Section 1
今天特别艰难，记忆这个东西对我来说特别艰难。我记忆很差，且平常不怎么在具体的事上，一般来说的现实——时间地点人物景观事件——总是流过我。
今天收获是很大的，「我的记忆」从消失、漂浮变成了一个困难，它出现，我感受到些些片刻的冲动和痛。
婴儿的练习
变成一个婴儿，你还没有观察世界和与自己身体的经验。躺着，只看得见天花板，蹬腿，抬起手，抓一抓，眼睛看，去观察，去带领探索的好奇。持续的努力，转头了，眼睛看到了很远的地方，你想要伸手去抓，但是够不到，小小的身体离那里还那么远，也看不清楚。要去，努力，努力，换了好几个无法企及的不清楚的远方，努力，又一次，你的世界一翻，你翻身了，又有一次，你的身体从一个片变成了几个柱，你爬……直到很久很久以后，世界才变成了你忽视的存在，你熟悉在一种无法再超越的境地。
婴儿的练习以后，我感觉自己有了一种「历史」的感觉，一些变化发生了，感觉多了一种「感觉」到自己，感觉到了像故事和小路一样的时间，一些关于叠加、继承、和感动（关怀？）的感觉。
记忆——我好像对它有了一种通路的感觉。
记忆在行为中，经历在行为中，创造（情感、思绪、意义）在行为中
Body memory
Proust:
“I RAISED TO MY LIPS A SPOONFUL OF THE TEA IN WHICH I HAD SOAKED A MORSEL OF THE CAKE … SUDDENLY THE MEMORY RETURNS. THE TASTE WAS OF THE LITTLE CRUMB OF MADELEINE WHICH ON SUNDAY MORNINGS AT COMBRAY … MY AUNT LÉONIE USED TO GIVE ME, DIPPING IT FIRST IN HER OWN CUP OF REAL OR OF LIME-FLOWER TEA.”
这篇记录是这个月结束了以后写的，现在我明白了这一部分——行动，是关于记忆，关于舞踏的基本，就像泥娃娃是泥做的一样。身体，这个太词意味深长了，个人又集体，公共又隐私，当下又古老，显而易见又暗流涌动。直接观察，也是柔软又僵硬，温热又暗冷，线条又曲折。
剥洋葱
Peeling the Onion
Layer by layer, Günter Grass reveals memories.
Skins beneath the skin.
Grass: “So, in order to complete this patchwork of memory, I started to peel the onion. Rounding out layer by layer, the onion seemed suitable to me to expose what had been and had disguised itself in the course of time.”
之后，我们跳舞，我的身体变得像干纸皮一样，像画皮，它干了，薄的抖的，表面的变成了一层，很强烈，我第一次有了一个想法：这不是我的身体，我的身体不是我。
这不好解释。有点像鼓面，鼓面破了，原来鼓不是什么东西，就是两层薄薄的皮，一个架子，加上一些空间，皮破了，鼓不是什么东西，空间也不是空间。鼓破了一层皮一晃神又看到还没完，里面还有一层，但已经不能说是皮，用感念摸上去，里面还有，吗？如果都是皮，里面是什么？没什么可能。
犹太男孩的故事
Gustavo讲了一个故事，具体我忘了，大概是一个男孩他最后发现自己小时候是纳粹战场上的一个男孩。
I was moved that time listening to him.
记得他还说了一句： appeared the truth
翻页至 section 2 ——>>