「Last Diary」Self-critical Essay

In the last month, I finished my individual project Puzzle in Dream. It wasn’t perfect or even may not so good, but I really enjoy my work. I think it’s a delicate work and needs the readers really put themselves into it and be in the imaginations to sense the order and ideas telling by narratives. Just like being in a dream, you let things happened, seeing all the metaphors from your hidden self and the world. It’s also the one that most speaks for me, I totally wrote it for myself.

I came up with the idea of writing the theme by reviewing what I had written and what I was interested to write. All the ideas showed me these keywords—— solitude, imagery, love, and struggle. Related to my previous writings, I always tried to show how I was thinking about and what I had gone through in a deeper layer of reality. I decided to keep this try and focused on how my work could express the abstract ideas this time, and I would think less about how others would read it or how to make it good for most readers.

 After writing some pieces of works, I found although they were telling about different feelings in different events or places, they formed the big image of my life these days magically, they were like pieces of puzzles that revealed the riddle in the end. Therefore, I integrated them into one long poem.

I named it Last Diary, it was exactly a diary that recorded my inner world in this period of time. Reading it was like starting an introverted journey. The main body of the poem was the timeline. To start, “I” was first sitting in a classroom, it’s a place where my life in reality start, then it showed what I was experiencing in my daytime and create the tone of the whole work, it was grey and depressed with a strong sense of longing. The smoke, the main clue, also appeared in this part. In the setting, the poem.

In the end, I came back to the reality. The smoke was still rising, it connected the two side of the world, and you can view it as a window to the abstract world. I felt warm in coldness while being with the smoke, it seemed that the smoke was standing on my side and reminding me of the world and also the precious heart of mine.

I really learned a lot in this project, I will keep going and studying. In the future, I will also try to think more about how to make more people understand my work. Thanks for the course.