Dancing Memory

section 3

“Just a document” Gustavo took this photo

“And once you finish, rest. And whatever is your end, rest, happy.

Because you found a connection, even if it’s a small one with the source of your movement. Your dance is stronger than you think. And your own life, with all the things that have happened in your own life, is more powerful and meaningful if you find the deepness, the origins of these memories. “

This is Gustavo’s voice at the end of today’s practice.

Today is good; I’m happy. This is not a common word for me; and I remembered once someone said his wish was for me to be happy; I smiled in looking at him, and he smiled while lowing and shaking his head. This is a ultimate one, a wish that will only come after many other things or bring many other things.

Today we continued last class’s moments of memory and level of attention but deeper and more holistic.

Facial— dancing with all energy on the head

Buddhas fyra ansikten

In my practice, one of my moment of memory contains strong impulses of vomitting. There was a moment in this state the saliva dropped down on my leg from my mouth. As it hit me, I suddenly could feel its process of changing from sticky to very thin, secreting, and flowing out of my mouth.

Keep exploring moments of memory on the different levels of attention/placement

A change of movement and scenes on a moment of memory in different levels
left—outside the body
right— the boundary of the body

I feel and understand much more. Last time we were only introduced to these ideas separately.

Gustavo’s voice vibrated. The level of attention is not only about attention but building a channel of energy, looking for our spiritual source. He talked about the imagery of well; this is very important.

And very importantly, about TRAVEL:

Personally, I was stuck in practice, and I think others were the same. Gustavo demonstrated to us this “going deep” in the process of going through the different level of attention. I was astonished and I understood. Thank him too much. Bravo. He underlined “going deep” is a “circular” process. You mustn’t stay in any one level but really travel, move, and flow. This is so important and valuable for me; I used to prefer to stick in the “deep place”; I used to know nothing about the journey with up and down, flat, and sharp.

( A memory comes: two years ago, in a summer camp, where we talked about Karl Jung and the stages of Hero’s Journey, I asked the tutor what if I don’t what to get out of the underground and if hero will have a chance go deep again after a return—— this is not something easy to observe and know——I’m quite stiff.)

In my practice

after seeing “travel” in his demonstration, I was able be outside of my body more. And surprisingly, the memory I came up with in that part was the ritual of my grandmother’s many-day ceremony, and I see the same “travel” in that ritual. At that time, I circled with all my relatives in a line and watched 3 or 4 先生 dance holding candles. At this present, I circled as before and danced like those 先生.

In the later part

I was working on a memory of moths: moth is the scariest thing for me; once, I was in my hometown in the mountain. I thought hundreds of moths were flying in the house crazily toward the lamb. I was so scared. I felt I’m going to die from crying and screaming so much. At last, my uncle drives me down the mountain immediately at night. That’s how moths are for me. Today, in my dance, I draw many circles on my body. Later, I did it again, near the end of the dance, and the abdomen of moth came to my mind— what I drew was the feet or something on a month’s body. And I felt powerful. After watching the record after class, I found that my last movement of the dance was doing it again.

Your body is strong. You are strong inside you. You’re getting force, power from your inside, in the darkness. You’re very inside the well of your body; you’re living the past, but you’re living now, in the present. Don’t be afraid. Touch, dance, and go deeper. You’re not lost. You’re in the darkness, but you can watch inside your darkness. Bring the energy again to your body, your well. You’re going back to the exterior of the well. You’re watching the light of the exterior. you’re feeling the air coming, and your movement is bringing all the energy of your inside and memory to the exterior world. ”

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