There are two comfort zones we want to get out of. The first is the form of work. The second is the style of Work. The final decision was: I was going to do a serious photographic work, and Jacob was going to do a naive installation. Laila is going to do a humorous video. Then Jacob suggested that the theme of our project be alcohol. We all agreed. Because alcohol is involved in several scenes where we are familiar with each other. Serious alcohol photography. When the topic came to me, I really didn’t know what to do. I’ve been thinking a lot about entry points. But none of these entry points seemed relevant to me. But this period of serious thinking has made one thing clear to me. Being serious doesn’t mean the content of my work has to be serious. It doesn’t mean I have to tell some real, serious story about someone else. In my understanding, seriousness in a work of art means expressing the real struggle and pain in one’s heart. There is no cover up. In the course of spending a month with my two new friends, all three of us have made quite a difference. So we all decided to change our title to Changes. Use the work to record our changes during this time. During this time, I found that I liked Laila. But this is stronger than any relationship I’ve ever been in. And there are three people in this relationship. Jacob had a crush on Laila, too. At first, I felt like I wasn’t myself. It’s like my emotional levers are in laila and Jacob’s hands. Whenever they are alone, I feel depressed and depressed. But when I’m alone with Laila, I feel incredibly fulfilled. At the same time, IT’s hard for me to be natural when the three of us are together. I began to reflect on what had caused the change in me. After my sorting, I found that it was because of my heart that fragile, self-abased I rushed out. This is me in junior high school, but I held him down for so long that I forgot his existence. And when I realized that, I started trying to live with myself. After a while, I found that I could come back to a natural state with them. I’ve also become desensitized. I seem to have completely embraced the person I used to be. So I wanted to document these changes through my work. But how? I don’t know. At first, I thought of the traditional Chinese painting class I attended as a child. The teacher always draws some circles before asking us to start drawing. One is to practice writing, the other is meditation. When I was at my lowest, I tried painstakingly drawing circles to calm my mood. I want to capture some scenes from my life. Then fill these scenes with circles. It’s a way to show how calm I am. Jacob was working on his work that same day. So I wrote down the process. The result was this piece.
anted to tell them about my state. That would explain the strange state of my earlier confrontation with him. I began to use word change. But now I think the reason I did it was because I wanted to kill myself who is living in few days ago in other people’s minds. It’s a sign of not accepting yourself. This is a work that projects what I’m doing in my head into reality. Filling my body with change, explaining my previous actions with change. In the work, I spent an hour dressing myself so that I could face others with a new look. But in real life, I dress up and disguise my thoughts for more than an hour. The paper pasted in this work is the work I mentioned before. I named the work “Before Meeting” because that was the state before I met her.
After that, I discussed my work with my friends and added sound to my work. Because I think it’s hard for the audience to get into my work without sound. It’s easy to get grabbed by something else. I went through a lot of music for this. Finally, I found that The Gymnopedies of Sati fit the mood I wanted to express. I was fascinated by its mournful quietness in thought. In addition to my laughter, I think I can express the contradictory state very well.
【before meeting-哔哩哔哩】https://b23.tv/O5Ymtc
this is my final version