This is a report on solutions to social challenges in the lunar exploration community, based on online group collaboration, after learning about social traits in adolescence in a self-knowledge class. The four parts of the report are: research social challenges in the community – focus on a social challenge – propose your solution based on that challenge – propose an action plan.
Our group mainly focused on the issue of “insecurity”, and put forward two viewpoints, “How to develop heart-to-heart friendship” and “to achieve spiritual self-sufficiency”. It’s also about expressing how we heal in relationships, how we identify the parts of relationships that wear and tear, using the body, choosing the right way to heal, to reduce the discharge; Recharge your batteries at the same time: increase your ability to create nourishing sexual relationships and weave a happy web of connections for yourself. We ended up with tips on building relationships and a game called “20 Things to Do when You’re Insecure.”
In the whole process of completing the project, I was actually involved as a team leader, so the most important question I needed to think about was “How to lead a group of people forward to achieve this project under the limited condition of online cooperation”. In fact, I’ve always thought it’s a very simple thing, because we have clear goals, and everyone is responsible and contributes to the final outcome.
However, I found it problematic to make meticulous planning and design the team structure, and to treat people as objects or static resources in a neat and orderly way, and to see each one in its proper place. The problem is that when we have conflict or disagreement, we often use aggressive and oppressive language to feel in control.
It comes down to the question of the team, what kind of way to work together and produce a good interaction. My biggest growth in cooperation has been in the use of nonviolent communication for conflict resolution.
Because of this project, my ability to “resolve conflicts” has been improving rapidly. In the past, I always inadvertently used some violent language to communicate. It may be common for me to evaluate others morally and pass the buck. And will compare. What these words have in common is that they make people feel wronged and uncomfortable because their needs are compromised or ignored. It will also worsen the cooperation relationship, because it prevents people from really paying attention to and understanding each other. In fact, we all want to make the project more perfect, so we cannot work together to achieve a win-win situation.
I have found that when there is conflict in cooperation, not only me, but all of us use violent language to communicate, which immediately triggers our anger and defense, because our need for self-esteem is threatened. In such situations, it is very easy to use the same hurtful language as we need to maintain our self-esteem. As a result, the conflict escalates and eventually exceeds the tolerance level of each other, bringing great harm to the achievements of the relationship and cooperation.
And I found that if I wanted to change this vicious circle, I needed to go back to the first moment of verbal violence. After discovering this, I immediately recounted what had happened before and put forward my ideas. So in the rest of the communication we all respond in different ways, using non-violent communication to cooperate. All team members can show their real needs reasonably and clearly, find the common parts, and then satisfy each other through cooperation and mutual help, which finally satisfies both sides and improves the relationship and results.
The bottom line is this: nonviolent communication resolves conflict by reconstructing the violent elements of language into a “strong desire to meet needs,” and creates constructive connections between people that ultimately lead to better outcomes and a better experience of teamwork. Finally, smooth progress was achieved according to the project timeline, and finally a good output was achieved.