序言|人对其同类的一场伟大临摹

表演艺术是人对其同类所持续进行的一种伟大临摹。我总是在我的心里这样定义表演艺术。若仔细思考,表演作为一种艺术(非一种商业形式)似乎涵盖了太多我可能穷尽一生也无法彻底理解问题。例如人们如何得以理解到他人?人人类所谓的”性格“会被改变吗?有什么是不变的?我是否可能成为另一个人,或在某一件事情上成为另一个人?但我也终将无法停止对于这些问题的思考,即使这让我看上去有些愚蠢。我同表演像是在一个蒸笼的里的两个馒头—我们使用着同样的面粉拥挤在一个狭小的空间,我看见它,就像是看见了我自己。
Performing art is a kind of great imitation that people continue to make of their kind. I always define performance art like this in my heart. If you think about it carefully, performance as an art (not a form of business) seems to cover too much. I may not fully understand the problem after exhausting my life. For example, how can people understand others? Will the so-called “character” of human beings be changed? What is constant? Is it possible for me to become another person, or another person in a certain matter? But I will never stop thinking about these issues, even if it makes me look a little stupid. My performance is like two steamed buns in a steamer-we use the same flour and crowded in a small space, I see it, it is like seeing myself.

不得不承认这是一个危险的想法:我使得表演成为了我自己不可或缺的一部分。
I have to admit that this is a dangerous idea: I make performance an integral part of myself.

我总听很多人说,做事情要给自己留点余地。但是,很不幸的是我没有。这倒也不是我有意而为之,但却是我纵容的结果。我享受这样,正如同我经常跟别人提起的,我享受热爱一件事物超过热爱自己的感觉。我热爱表演,热爱戏剧艺术,热爱那些如同晶莹的标本一般的作家,我热爱人。
I always hear many people say that you have to give yourself some leeway in doing things. But unfortunately I did not. This is not my intention, but it is the result of my indulgence. I enjoy this, just as I often mention to others, I enjoy loving one thing more than loving myself. I love acting, love drama, love writers who are like crystal specimens, and love people.

很长一段时间我都很纠结,因为我觉得我目前在表演方面的成果远远不足以拿出来展示。而把一件自己都还不认可的东西拿出来展示显然是折磨人的。这种折磨已然严重到我想要逃避。这里面有一个很好玩的规律就是,我越喜欢什么,越在乎什么,我越恐惧什么。因为这种喜欢会很大程度的束缚自己,它让我自己害怕看到结果,害怕看到自己的能力并不与之相符。很奇怪,我很少这样。
I was struggling for a long time because I felt that my current performance in performance was far from enough to show. And it’s obviously torture to show something that I don’t even approve of. This torture is so serious that I want to escape. There is a very interesting rule here, that is, the more I like and care about what, the more I fear. Because this kind of liking will restrain myself to a large extent, it makes me afraid to see the results, afraid to see that my ability does not match it. Very strange, I rarely do this.

再后来,我想,这种奇怪的爱恋关系总是要结束的。
Later, I thought, this strange relationship will always end.

史黛西

于二○二一年一月六日


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