In this project, I want to talk about what love is. In the course of my project, my understanding of love has changed three times. Now these pictures are my understanding of love from the beginning. At that time I thought love was just a common emotion. It’s just a regular link between two people. This is some of the maps I did at the time.
Later, Teacher Li Mowen asked me to write a paper. It’s about love. Because she thinks I think too shallow. Then I wrote a paper on love. In this paper, I found that the emotion of love is more due to myself. Because I’m in a different state when I’m with different people. I’m at my best when I’m with certain people. So I fell in love with her because I fell in love with her.
But when I wrote this paragraph, I still had no idea what to do with it. At this point, I want to thank life for bringing me inspiration. On the first day of 2021, I went to dinner with my ex-girlfriend. When I went to look for her, I saw her staying with her boyfriend. Then we went to dinner. As SOON as I entered the restaurant, I wanted to go out to the bathroom when I saw the girl I liked in junior high school walking towards me. With her boyfriend on her arm. That night brought me a lot of emotions. But these emotions are all positive and I feel like I get a lot of energy. So I channeled that energy into my art. Because I am particularly fascinated by this kind of emotion and energy, I think this kind of energy is the ultimate in the work. So I constructed an extremely lonely person. Because I think the reunion of an extremely lonely man with his only friend from the past can make this story even more extreme. At the same time, I also added some of my own stories and experiences into the story, so that the story can be more three-dimensional and more real.
This is my story
Z是一个孤独的人，他没有任何的朋友。在日复一日的孤独中，唯一可以支持他继续生活的是他之前的一个朋友。虽然他和那个朋友已经完全断掉了联系。他也不奢望可以跟那个朋友联系。他可以做的只有不停的去回想之前他和那个朋友相处的故事。但是那些平淡的，生活中的故事似乎不能填补他的孤独了。他开始臆想，随着他的臆想，朋友变成了伴侣。他也把他对于现状的不满编写进了臆想中。在他的想象中，那段时间的他变得不再孤僻。因为那个朋友的存在，他变成了一个开放的人。慢慢的，他爱上了那段时间里他的状态，然后，他也爱上了他的那个朋友。他开始不停的臆想出他和那个朋友之间的亲密故事，每当他无法忍受孤独时这些所谓的故事就会被他“想起”。那些故事在不停的塑造他。他开始不停的鼓励自己“离开了她我也要过好我的生活，我现在的状态只会让她失望”。带着他对朋友的爱，带着这种信念。他开始变得越来越幸福。越来越开放。同时，他从他朋友的动态里发现了她有了新的男朋友。他心里的感受有一些复杂，觉得自己好像已经是过去式了。终于有一天，他出门了。当他徜徉在满是人的街道中时，他心里生出了一种渴望。他渴望把自己想象中的故事告诉每一个路人。他开始低头思考，怎么把故事讲出来。当他想好，抬起头时，发现自己朝思暮想的朋友正挽着她的男朋友向自己走来。他不敢确定那是她。他怔怔地看了好久。才确定是她。这时，那个朋友也看到了他。在他的眼睛里，他看到了他的朋友眼里一开始闪过了不可置信，随之而来的是惊喜。他的朋友开始用力的跟他打招呼，他也在打招呼。他迫切的想跟他的朋友坐下来，聊一聊近况。聊一聊他的变化。聊一聊他们之前的生活。但当他产生这些想法时，他的朋友已经挽着她的男朋友走远了。也许我们之后会在微信上聊一聊。他心里这么想着。不过，当他看见她的时候，他心里还是涌现了极大的幸福。“她现在过的很好，看她过的好，我也好开心。”。在这一瞬间，他觉得自己成长了，但不知成长在了哪里。他也没有和他的朋友在微信上产生对话。当然了，他的朋友也没有找他。
The story is there. The problem is how to show it. How to tell the audience? I’m imagining it. Finally, I decided not to say I was imagining it. Because I know what it’s like to lie and imagine. So I became an experiential actor, and when I acted, I really became that way. Then, to show how closed the man was, I decided to put a cloth over my head. So that my eyes can’t see, so that the outside can’t see me. Before the performance, I thought of many ways to tell the audience that I imagined. At first, I wanted to write directly on the mask that I imagined. Later I thought it would be better to be less direct and let the audience find out for themselves. And the mask is too ugly.)
And here’s a video of me acting